Well as most of you know, yesterday was Easter. I got to start my Easter celebration early this year, on Saturday night at mass! I have not been to church since Christmas and god knows when before that. I can't stand being there anymore as it just makes me sick to see that many people who are completely ignorant or who go even though they hate being there as much as I do. Well what I normally do when I have to go (with my parents) is just sleep for an hour until its over. I have mastered my sleeping skills at church to the point that I can apparently stand, sit, and kneel on autopilot. This is probably where I began learning the basics to all of the other crazy things that I do in my sleep (I'll get to those stories at another time). So when I got to church I instantly began feeling tired as I always do, and before the mass began I was passed out already. All was going fine until I woke up. When my eyes started peeling open I noticed that there were a bunch of people on the altar, which is not normal if yoou don't know. I looked to my sister who was sitting next to me and asked her what was going on and she told me there were about 8 people who were getting baptised. I thought "o fuckin' great, this is all I need when I am trying to get the hell out of here." So I slipped back into my slumber for a about another half hour and I woke up feeling refreshed but completely confused again. The people who were on the altar earlier were still fucking there! I checked my phone to see if maybe I had fallen asleep for only a few minutes but I had fallen asleep for over a half hour since I had last waken up. Now I was pissed. I asked my sister what the hell they were doing now and she said "they are getting confirmed and receiving their first communion." When she said that I got up and left. I can't stand mass at its normal length, there was no way in hell I was going to make it through this bullshit plus all of the extra Easter shit. I went outside and had a couple of smokes before my dad came out to check where I was. He was mad that I had left and asked me to come back in, and since my dad is cool I followed him in. He told me that mass should be just about over. I sat there for another 45 minutes before I got out of that living hell! I sat there over three hours for what was supposed to be an hour or maybe, and I mean maybe an hour and a half at most. All this fuckin shit and it still wasn't even Easter yet. The second I got home I checked my phone and there were about 8 missed calls and 7 texts about parties that I was missing. My phone rang again and my friends were on their way to pick me up and take me to a party, what a relief. I needed to go shed some stress and annoyance. So I got there and within five minutes I was getting blown sideways by the dankness in my lungs. I felt great and passed out a few hours later at home. After a great night of sleep I woke up to a huge breakfast. I was stuffed so I went back to sleep until about noon. I had some cleaning to do before my mother's family came over to eat around 4. Once my family started showing up I crept up to my room to work on some graphics and website that I was almost done with. I can't stand this side of my family because they are all a bunch of bitching idiots, so I normally try to do anything that I can to avoid them. Eventually my dad yelled up to me that the food was ready, so now I obviously had to go down and get some grub. I filled up a plate, and then another, and another, and another until I was full. The food was bomb, and I was feeling pretty good so far. Well, that quickly came to an end when all of my aunts and uncles finished eating. Someone brought up the fact that my grandpa had to go take his license test soon or he would lose his license for good. Now, this sounds like something simple to deal with, right? Well it should be but when you let a room full of retards try to figure something simple out suddenly it becomes rocket science. They started talking about who should take him to the test and whose car he should use and whose insurance he would be on. No one wanted to let him take their car because he is old and really shouldn't be driving. No one wanted to tell him that so instead they began to fight. It started with basic scolding and "hey your stupid so shut up" and quickly escalated way beyond that. Within ten minutes there was crying and yelling in the kitchen while my grandpa sat watching golf about ten feet over in the next room completely oblivious to what was going on. All of us kids sat there in the middle of the fighting not wanting to move because our stomachs where so full, so we were literally just laughing and making fun of how dumb and immature the adults were being. It was kind of like being a sports commentator at the special olympics. My dad came up with the brilliant solution that my grandpa should just rent a car from enterprise and get insurance for the day, that way no one has to risk losing their car to my grandpa's reckless driving. The normal person would probably here this, let it sink in, and realize how simply easy and awesome this idea was but my mom's family is not normal or anywhere near it. so they continued yelling and screaming for another two hours until they were tired of it and began leaving. I was ready to kick my own family out on easter because they are so stupid! But they eventually left and then my dad broke out the alcohol to ease the minds of my family of all that had just happened. Things finally calmed down and then I had a good time with family for about another few hours before I headed back home for school today. Just remember, when stupid people create bad situations, the situation can't get better until you get rid of the stupid people.
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